I didn’t know whats gotten into me, I just feel bad of everything. I’m feeling horrible. I’m feeling awful. I feel sad. It feels like, all of sudden, everything has drown on me. It feels like every single thing popping in my head and I just feel stupid. I’m so stupid. And fucking ugly. And fucking insane. And fucking bad. I’ve hurt people’s feeling that was good to me. I say things that wasn’t pretty. I’m mean. I say stupid vocabulary. I’m a bad person who is good at nothing but wearing a mask. A clown, am I?
I never bothered of being alone but at some point, sometimes, the thought of it scares me. Well, its not alone that scare me but feeling lonely does. And I kinda feel like maybe, just maybe, I do feel lonely right now. It turns out that it much scarier than I ever thought it would be. I have no one to call. I have no one to talk to. I have no one to share. I just know that actually, nobody likes me that much. Can I tell universe about what I feel? Should I whisper trough the air?
Am I that scary? Am I that bad that nobody literally want to get surrounded by me?
, by Islami Jihadiyah